My Sweetest Word

If you have to name the sweetest word in the world – which one would come to your mind? Sweetheart……., Beloved………, Home………, Money……, Power………., Fame……, Position………, Or else?

For me, the sweetest word in the World is – Mother; Mummy, Maa; Aae; Amma

Sometimes ago, when Indian Leader Mr. L.K. Advani praised Mr. Narendra Modi for doing a favour by accepting Prime Minister’s position, Mr. Modi remarked “Can anybody do a favour to mother?”  For Indians, our country is like a mother, and we often call her as ‘Bharat Mata or Mother India’.

It took me five years back in the history in 2009. My mother told me the very same thing that I and my wife were doing a favour to her by cleaning her excreta and I had said that nobody can do a favour to mother. She was terminally sick.

My mother was detected with cervical cancer in June, 2009. At that time she was staying with my elder brother near to Varanasi. She came to stay with me at Navi Mumbai, and survived six more weeks. The doctors at Tata Memorial Hospital (TMH-well known for cancer treatment) confirmed terminal stage and asked us to decide whether we should go for chemotherapy or not. The chance of survival was very slim. 

My mother opted for natural death. In contrary to other cancer patients she passed away very peacefully today (16^th August) five years ago in 2009. Probably, it was her Karma - her helping attitudes to poor children and their parents throughout her life, which saved her from the agony of a cancer patient.

My mother taught me some of the greatest values in life. Among these were love to poor people and importance of serving others. My mother was a teacher: running her own school for more than 35 years, since 1974 till her death. She used to teach children of daily wage workers, rickshaw pullers, small grocery owners and traders at a very nominal fee which she waived many times when the parents were not able to pay. Whenever I asked her why not she takes the fee when she has to pay to other teachers and for maintenance she answered that they cannot afford, and if she does not allow them to study then who will teach.

As my father was a self-employed person - an advocate, the family income was never steady. At crucial times, my mother’s income supported the family. My parent’s first priority was supporting their children’s education than meeting their basic needs. Many of my relatives who visited our home when we were studying outside told us on how they used to send money by cutting down their expenses, so as we could stay and study comfortably.  

I was fortunate to have such a parent. They were always very supportive and never imposed their will on me. That’s why I could take a strong decision to leave my Ph.D. midway when I was asked either to bow down, accept the injustice or leave the Ph.D. (mentioned in my earlier blog on ‘Knowing your True-self’). That’s why I could leave my profiling career at the Philippines in 2008, took early retirement and return back to India.

I very well remember that when I went to Banaras Hindu University (BHU) I got Malaria within six months. At that time my first semester examination was about to begin. Some of my classmates called my parents and informed them about my sickness. They immediately came from Patna (about 250 kms away from my place of study). My mother took special permission from hostel warden, and started staying with me in boys’ hostel, taking my care till my examinations were over. 

There are many such cases when she went beyond her limits to support us. I know your mother is also no exception and you cherish those moments when she came out of way to support you.

Once my friend and ex-Boss at CARE, Depinder Kapur asked me what I got from my consultancy. I told him that the greatest reward from my consultancy work has been those six weeks that I spent with my ailing mother. We were never that much close in last 25 years since I left my home for higher study. During those six weeks I was with my mother for almost every single moment, taking care of her and getting her final teaching. I would not have been able to do that had I been in the job.

My parents are no more in this world, but their blessings will always be.

Jitendra Sinha

16^th August, 2014

PS: During her last days my mother used to share some of her paranormal experiences. I did not understand and believe at that time. However, when I read Dr. Brian Weiss’s book “Many Lives, Many Masters’ three years later I was surprised. At pp.140-141 Dr. Weiss has written very similar statements which my mother used to share. She never knew the authors or read his books.